I am the teen detective, sweet and all-American, soft and smelling of milk, with big hair and big kind of moony doe eyes. I have been referred to as a fulgent beam of light, a wholesome little sleuth, a bright and clever hope for my small and sinless town. (click-append: "town.")[ My arch nemesis is a dirty awful teenage slut.
[[seems mean]]
[[right on |2]]
]My nemesis is working for all that is evil. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe the mafia, or the communists. I am a lone operator, serving only my little town and my own staunch understanding of Moral Good.
[[next|3]][My nemesis has long glossy hair, whereas mine is matted and virginal.]
(click-append: "virginal. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> She wears vulgar graphic t-shirts from Chinese sweatshops but I wear plain and true American homemade felt.]
(click-append: "felt. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> She gets straight As in school however I am unpretentious and don’t go to school at all.
[[next|4]]
]
I'm solving the mystery of the missing broach but my nemesis ties me to a chair and tells me her dastardly plan and I scream and cry and kick her.
[[break free and shove her face in a river|4 oh]]
[[break free and knot her by the hair to a bedpost|4 eh]]
Next week I'm investigating a missing artifact at the local archaeological museum.
I turn a corner and find myself face to face with her, our noses practically brushing up against one another. I try to speak but she's looking me directly in the eyes. (click-append: "eyes. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[My voice is caught in my throat.
[[shove her |5 oh]]
[[reason with her|5 eh]]
]
I am fleshy with thick legs that smell and feel kinda like warm wet chicken. When I walk home my hair sticks to my face in clumpy tendrils. It is always either hot or rainy and usually both and the sky is never not a soggy white or gray.
[[next|7]]My nemesis lives in a mansion on a mountain with a bunch of rich socialites who do bathsalts all day and shop at Whole Foods.
(click-append: "Whole Foods. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> She started drinking alcohol when she was four, smoking weed at six and doing crack at fourteen.]
(click-append: "fourteen.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> She’s the hottest girl in school. Everyone wants a piece of my nemesis.]
(click-append: "my nemesis.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Except me. I’ve had to work hard my whole life and I see right through her cocky demeanor.]
(click-append: "demeanor.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have human blood but a blood-like fluid the color of obsidian] (click-append: "obsidian")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ and I have a sneaking suspicion she’s the one who keeps sucking the blood of and killing all the virgins on the lacrosse team,] (click-append: "team,")+(t8n: "dissolve") [ though admittedly that's all speculative and I can’t really prove any of that.
[[next|8]]
]I have so many mysteries to solve. This little town is rampant with crime. The second I turn my back a new chapter of the KKK opens up and a glamorous marquess moves to town and starts stealing jewelry from the colonial museum.
(click-append: "museum.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I can’t rest.]
(click-append: " I can’t rest.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Today I skulk beneath a hidden staircase within the Lilac Manor. A few miles from me the plants in city are constantly belching big pollution clouds into the air. ]
(click-append: " the air.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br>I used to think this is why the sky is so cloudy and heavy, then I learned I was wrong, but now that I think about it I’m still kinda right.
[[next|9]]
]My nemesis bashes me in the kneecaps with a croquet mallet.
[[batter her skull in |9 oh]]
[[whack her with a tennis racket | 9 eh]]
My nemesis has a massive lesion across her face. A lot of people have skin lesions or psoriasis or eczema induced by the nearby chemical plant.
(click-append: "chemical plant.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ I have lesions too, two tiny circles like someone burned a cigarette into the swell of my shoulder blade, and big swaths of red flaky eczema all down my back.
[[next|11]]
]The first few times I encountered my nemesis I gave eloquent posturing speeches about the nature of morality and the inevitability of the system's righteous justice. This in contrast to how I talk to my nemesis now,
(click-append: "now,")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br> who these days I just beat with a hammer at the soonest opportunity.]
(click-append: "opportunity.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
<br>
Somehow she always manages to escape and tie me to a chair.
</br>
[[next|12]]
]I....
[[outsmart her and escape my bondage by revealing her deepest insecurities and taunting them until she cries. |12 oh ]]
[[have been sweating buckets this entire time and by now am sufficiently greasy to slip out of the ropes with ease. |12 eh]]
Back at home, on the headboard of my bed I can see little white marks where I used to gouge into the wood with my fingernails when I was a little kid.
(click-append: "kid.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>I place my hand over it and imagine green acid burning into it and through to the wall.]
(click-append: "wall.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>The wood splintering and thinning till I break through it like paper.]
(click-append: "paper.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> At the end of days like this my head is heavy and pounding and totally empty. My sheets are cool and when I sit on my bed it’s like sinking into a stream of clear water.]
(click-append: "water.")+(transition: "dissolve")[<br> Some days I don’t even make it to the bed. I just fall into my carpet.](click-append: "carpet.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>When my eyes are closed and my body goes numb I can see sunlit dappling water above me, from some memory of opening my eyes in the town pool as a kid.
[[next|14]]
]I’ll live out the rest of my life out on this carpet, I think. It's cool and soft here. The fan is blowing hot air around my room and I can feel it on the back of my head. But my eyes are closed pressed down into the carpet and my cheek is pressed into the leg of my dresser, which is waxy and smooth. I feel all my muscles atrophy and ribbons of red and blue wind down my spine.
[[next|15]]My legs dissolve into liquid. My back crystallizes like salt. A hole in my head opens up and all the bad stuff falls out.
[[next|16]]
I have a recurring dream about my adversary.
[[dwell in it]]
[[no]]I'm awake. (click-append: "I'm awake.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I bend down to pick up a funny looking pebble and when I look back up my chateau has been engulfed in flames.] (click-append: "flames.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> My naturally speculative character is beguiled by a Swedish man wearing a hat by the scene of the crime](click-append: "crime")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> and by the fact that in the wreckage of my former home I find a mysterious diamond above my mother’s urn.
[[next|18]]
]Later I use my magnifying glass to identify a cult leader’s footprints during the Mystery of the Esoteric Runes, and wonder if he’s connected to the mayor’s daughter becoming a Scientologist, or if the mayor is just a regular bad dad.
[[next|19]]Another humid and grey day, another hunt for clues. I feel cool rainwater land on my feet. It squishes on the soles of my sandals.(click-append: "sandals.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> Above me, our town's flag attempts to unfurl, fluttering upward and then collapsing back down again.
[[As if in battle.]]
[[As if in shame.]]
]My nemesis smirks at me from the edge of the woods, but I have her now. (click-append: "now.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ If I think too closely about her life I feel bad for her. But also she helped set up foreign drug cartels in the old red barn on Larkspur Lane, so I try not to think about it.
[[next|21]]
]On the hunt for Grandfather Lyle’s widow’s missing wedding dress, which had money sewn up the skirt. (click-append: "skirt.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I find it nestled in a hole in an old hollow oak tree.] (click-append: "tree.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> Except the oak tree is covered in poison oak, which burns my hands, and is also haunted,] (click-append: "haunted,")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> and also the dress is a fake,] (click-append: "fake,")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> and it was all trick to distract me from organizing a drug bust on Grandfather Lyle,] (click-append: "Lyle,")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> who is actually alive and a murderer.
[[next|22]]
]During a press conference I nurse a head wound from a hatchet thrown at me during a different press conference and I am hailed as a very clever little lady.
[[next|23]]
I like to imagine my nemesis helping me pick glass shards out of my belly fat and holding my hand while I cry.
[[next|24]]I dream about the town engulfed in a hurricane, washing away all its inhabitants, leaving behind wet decay matted with a thick coat of algae.
[[next|25]]When I wake up I can still feel a thin dry coat of algic water or mossy scum clinging to my legs. (click-append: "legs.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> When I start dreaming lately I dream that I’m waking up, so the difference between the two is kind of slipping away. ] (click-append: "away. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>If I were to try and explain it to my foul enemy, I would want to say that one thing is made up by the inside wall of your mind,] (click-append: "mind,")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>but the other is also basically just made up by the inside wall of your mind, and that the difference doesn’t really matter.] (click-append: "matter.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br>She’d stare at me doe-eyed, full, red lips wrapped around the plastic straw to her drink and not understand.] (click-append: "understand.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I lack the ability to explain that my waking life is just as bizarre and internally driven as my sleeping life, but I know that if I try harder to name these feelings I’ll start stuttering and maybe crying, so in this fantasy I clam up and drop it.
[[next|26]]
]I started being a teen detective because I felt really strongly about protecting good from evil. But now that pretty much everyone in the town has revealed themselves to be some kind of petty or international criminal I just focus my energy into destroying my nemesis (click-append: "nemesis")[ so I can stop having dreams about kissing her under the moonlight.] (click-append: "moonlight.")[ It’s too late for me to go back to school so I’m gonna keep doing the one thing I kind of know how to do, even though crime is still ripping through the city at a breakneck pace and I know I’m not able to stop it.
[[next|27]]
]When my fetid and hateful nemesis smiles, the lesion folds over her cheek and into her dimples, and its crusty and brittle. Sometimes little red speckles of blood poke through.
[[next|28]]I wake, sleep, wake again. When my eyes open in the morning I always wonder how I am going to fill the day in order to be tired enough to fall back asleep.
[[check phone|check phone2]]
[[next|29]]I go for long walks through town, but I have to cover my face in a mask most days because the air isn’t fit to breathe. (click-append: "breathe.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Out of exposure anxiety I wrap my face in a scarf because I imagine the dirty air seeping into my skin and lesioning it like my enemy's.] (click-append: "enemy's.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Every time I see a red dry patch on my skin I imagine it growing thicker and deeper and burrowing into my skin even though I am pretty sure that’s not how cutaneous lesioning happens.] (click-append: "happens.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Still I wear the thick wool scarf even though the climate renders it heavy and humid.] (click-append: "humid.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> When I look at the river by the street, I see the way the water moves around the rocks and how effluvia puddles at the bank of the stream where it kind of laps up against the sidewalk. And I just sort of stare at it for a while.
[[next|30]]
]I stand in a dark alleyway corner off mainstreet and watch my nemesis prowl. I’m barely watching her, though, because I track her every move all the time anyway.
(click-append: "anyway.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
<br>
When I walk around in my day to day life I sometimes feel like a flip switches on and she starts watching me, too.] (click-append: "too.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I walk around in an attractive gait so she’ll know I’m respectable and have good posture.] (click-append: "posture.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> At the drug store, I reach for a purple shampoo bottle but then I imagine she tells me not to use the cheap stuff so I blow twenty seven dollars on the salon quality brand instead.] (click-append: "instead.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [<br> I don’t dance around to music in my room anymore because she tells me I look stupid. ] (click-append: "stupid.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Sometimes if I don’t see her for too long I start to get extra nervous and starting washing my hands over and over until I calm down.
[[next|31]]
]On the hunt for Mrs Mahoney’s missing baby backstage of the city theater. I hear a quiet rustling from behind heavy velvet curtain. A poison dart whizzes past my ear. (click-append: "ear.")+(t8n:"dissolve")[<br> From the corner of my eye I see my dead-eyed nemesis stop and reload her blowgun.
[[next|32]]
]
Am I being watched by her?
[[next|33]]I hope she is. I hope she isn't.
She's the only other one who seems to comprehend that this town is a shithole.
[[next|34]]I like it when the town praises me. But I don't want to do this anymore.
[[next|35]]I don’t know what they are making in the plant, or why we need it enough for it to poison us like this.
I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing new red rashes that never go away.
[[next|36]]I don’t know why I came to start doing what I do and I don’t know when it started making me so sad.
[[next|37]]
There must be some order that I am failing to grasp.
[[next|38]]I love my town. I hate the criminal who wants to hurt it. But I keep having dreams about drowning in muddy black water, or acid rain burning my skin, or lying awake to find swarms of ants surging across my naked body.
(click-append: "body.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> Everywhere there is filth and I'm powerless to keep myself clean.]
(click-append: "clean.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
I am the golden child of this town and I want so badly to be good.
[[next|39]]
]And this will pass and I will be rewarded.
(click-append: "rewarded.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I //will// be rewarded.
[[next|40]]
]I imagine lying on a bed of soft moss. (click-append: "soft moss. ")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> Branches break and sway above me gesturing at tiny glimpses of a blue sky above me.](click-append: "above me.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> The blue hits me and lights me up gold.](click-append: "gold.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br> Little clear rivulets of rain shake down from the trees and splash onto my fingertips and eyelashes.](click-append: "eyelashes.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[ <br> I am naked and when I roll over and press my face into the moss, I open my lips and dark riverwater dribbles and then pours down my chin, leaving my stomach and body empty and clean,](click-append: "clean,")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> feeling like a flushed out animal corpse.](click-append: "animal corpse.") +(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> My split ends brush across my back before the sunlight sloughs my matted clumps of hair off along with the red scabs, leaving me bald and raw and healthy, like a newly born calf.
[[next|41]]
]The next time I see my nemesis she bends down and I get a whiff of her, she somehow smells like both a dark and witchy stone cave and a cloudy blob of cheap mall brand perfumes. (click-append: "perfumes.")[ (transition:"dissolve") [<br> I inhale her air mouth open, basking in tasting the same air that she does.]
[[end]]
]I break free using my incredible wit and strength.
My nemesis gurgles in a river as I shove her head down and demand to know the location of Miss Wutherby’s brooch.
(click-append: "brooch.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "suffocating" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|5]]
]I escape using my astonishing cleverness and bicep strength.
I punish my nemesis by pulling her long hair and knotting it around a bedpost and leaving her there crying for 2 full days.
(click-append: "days.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "crybaby" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|5]]
]I shove her hard and she shoves me back, backwards into a glass display case.
(click-append: "case.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[ <br> I avoid the worst of it by wearing thick layers, but there are glass shards embedded in my neck and arms. An alarm is screaming. I stumble upwards and then collapse back down again.]
(click-append: "again.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I attempt to find and confront my nemesis but she's long gone.]
(click-append: "gone.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I find the artifact in a fragrant bush outside the museum.]
(click-append: "museum.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> The next day, I am praised by the mayor for my quick thinking and effervescence and receive the key to the city.]
(click-append: "city.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "feeble" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|6]]
]She raises her elbow and shoves me backwards, hard, into a glass display case directly behind me.
(click-append: "me.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[ <br> I avoid the worst of it by wearing thick layers, but there are glass shards embedded in my neck and arms. An alarm is screaming. I stumble upwards and then collapse back down again.]
(click-append: "again.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I attempt to find and confront my nemesis but she's long gone.]
(click-append: "gone.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> I find the artifact in a fragrant bush outside the museum.]
(click-append: "museum.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[<br> The next day, I am praised by the mayor for my quick thinking and effervescence and receive the key to the city.]
(click-append: "city.")+(t8n: "dissolve") [
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "hesitant" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|6]]
]I batter my nemesis' skull in with a haunted mannequin's leg.
(click-append: "leg.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "depraved" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|10]]
]I whack my nemesis with a tennis racket until her skin waffles and breaks into little red squares.
(click-append: "squares.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "brutal" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|10]]
]I taunt her and call her a flashy skank and a try-hard. I say she looks like the girl from The Ring. I remind her that she's going nowhere in life and that she can do all the petty little pugilism in the world but it won't save her from herself. I politely inform her shes a fat and ugly slut who looks like a dried up child pageant has-been and who dresses like she's sleeping with a gas station cockroach. (click-append: "cockroach.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
<br>
She cries. I consider this going easy.] (click-append: "easy.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
<br>
This kind of thing happens almost every other weekend. But she usually gets away before I can sic the town militia on her.]
(click-append: "her.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "callous" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|13]]
]This kind of thing happens almost every other weekend. But she usually gets away before I can sic the town militia on her.
(click-append: "her.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[<br> <br>Write the word "avoidant" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|13]]
]inspired by "Girl Detective and the Mystery of the Sap-Stained Skirt" by Porpentine Charity Heartscape, and by "Purity and Danger" by Mary Douglas.
special thanks to Thom for proofreading.
[[start over?->start]]
That's not lost on me. I have no empathy for my nemesis.
[[next|2]]We're alone, in the field by the old abandoned gold mine. She stands inches from me, separated by a thin rivulet of muddy water between our feet. She's barefoot, and so am I. Rain is hitting her and turning to hot steam like if you put a pan in the sink after heating it on the stove. In this fantasy her skin is hard and smooth and pure. Mine is like old milk.
(click-append: "milk.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> <br>The clouds are low and thin and sort of move about her, instead of congealing in the sky. The sky is midnight colored and there’s a single light that hits her from behind. ] (click-append: "behind.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br><br>The small of her neck, the dips in her clavicle, the swell of her hips and thighs and calves are lit up with bronze light from some unidentifiable source.]
(click-append: "source.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
<br>
She reaches out and touches me.
</br>]
(click-append: "me.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "lusty" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|17]]
]
Why bother with stupid fantasies. Temptation is a weakness. I have a town to serve. I have better things to do.
(click-append: "do.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the words "self-deceiving" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|17]]
]We'll come out on top soon.
(click-append: "soon.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "liar" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|20]]
]I think funny little thoughts like this from time to time.
(click-append: "time.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "coward" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|20]]
]I am the teen detective, sweet and all-American, soft and smelling of milk, with big hair and big kind of moony doe eyes.
I am the sole hope of the wholesome, crime-ridden provincial town wherein I reside.
[[check phone]]
[[look in the mirror]]
[[fight crime]]
Today the National News Network reports that (set: $Num to (random: 1,5))(if: $Num is 1)[the Amazon Rainforest's oil reserves have been entirely depleted.](if: $Num is 2)[the migrant crisis from the Global South is an enactment of God's pestilential wrath.](if: $Num is 3)[a local politician has been caught trafficking sex slaves for his personal use.](if: $Num is 4)[the economy has plunged into a deep depression, is contemplating ending it all.](if: $Num is 5)[water taps have run dry in southern Texas.]
The AQI (air quality index) is currently (set: $airPol to (random: 101,300))$airPol, (if: $airPol is <151)[(set: $risk to ["lightly polluted"])](if: $airPol is >151 and <200)[(set: $risk to ["moderately polluted"])](if: $airPol is >201 and <300)[(set: $risk to ["highly polluted"])]$risk.
I have no new texts.
[[refresh|check phone]]
[[go back|000]]I'm standing naked in front of the mirror. I would describe my body as...
[[like curdled milk.]]
[[like a naked rodent.]]
I take in hand my trusty magnifying glass, an old, cursed map of the town, and my lucky hairpin.
Today I am boarding an old boat on a local river, in search of the ghost haunting its shores.
When I board the dinghy I turn my magnifying glass upon a long, black hair across the outboard motor.
[[next]]Red stretch marks graffiti my breasts and stomach. Cellulite is curdled underneath my skin. If I look closely at my face, the pores are dotted black. The naked body is a disgusting thing. I feel filthy.
(click-append: "filthy.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[(css: "color: red;")[<br>
<br> Write the word "poisoned" anywhere on your body]
[[Get dressed|dress]]
]My naked body reminds me of some kind of animal, low to the ground and dirty with fleas. I touch my stomach and imagine the slippery membrane of my organs. Its a disgusting thing. I feel filthy.
(click-append: "filthy.")+(t8n: "dissolve")
[(css: "color: red;")[<br>
<br> Write the word "feral" anywhere on your body]
[[Get dressed|dress]]
]I can practically smell her stench from here.
[[shine flashlight around|next1]]
[[arm myself|next2]]
[[dive into the water|next3]]My flashlight catches a glimpse of glossy black hair.
How is her hair always so shiny? I bet its all grease.
I bet she can move so quickly because she basically prances around naked.
She's gone in an instant and the rumbling of my dinghy suddenly feels ominous.
[[Jump|next4]]I arm myself with a penknife and wait but to no avail. If she was here before, she's gone now.
I bet she can move so quickly because she basically prances around naked.
The rumbling of my dinghy begins to feel ominous.
[[Jump|next4]]If she was here before, she's not going to wait around for me to find her.
I bet she can move so quickly because she basically prances around naked.
The rumbling of my dinghy is beginning to feel ominous. I dive into the water.
The water soaks through all the wool and cotton I'm wearing. A soggy cotton-clad toe brushes the mud at the bottom of a river just as a fuse alights like a clap of thunder, in an explosion that shakes the water and throws me backwards.
[[next|next5]]I put on cotton bra and underwear, an second set of long underwear, a tank top, a turtleneck sweater, wool tights, a plaid skirt, a cardigan, wool gloves, and smart and sensible shoes. If I shake out my hair and put on my glasses that can also cover most of my face.
Modesty is an expression of good character.
[[go back|000]]I jump ship. The water soaks through all the wool and cotton I'm wearing. A soggy cotton-clad toe brushes the mud at the bottom of a river just as a fuse alights like a clap of thunder, in an explosion that shakes the water and throws me backwards.
[[next|next5]]I crawl ashore, the detritus of the bank sticking to my skirt and tights turning them brown with muck and ick. I cough up brown water: its not safe to drink. (click-append: "drink.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
She messed with the engine. That bitch.] (click-append: "bitch.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I'm covered in river filth.](click-append: "filth.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> That asshole. ](click-append: "asshole.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> I spit up more brown water and little green curdles of algae.] (click-append: "algae.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[<br> That skank. ](click-append: "skank.")+(t8n: "dissolve")[
(css: "color: red;")[Write the word "skank" anywhere on your body.]
[[next|start]]
]Checking my phone gives me a headache.
Today the National News Network reports that (set: $Num to (random: 1,5))(if: $Num is 1)[Canada has closed their borders to American refugees.](if: $Num is 2)[there is no good news.](if: $Num is 3)[the hottest new celebrity trend is licking your partner across the face in public.](if: $Num is 4)[the worlds first trillionaire paying higher taxes would be a socialist conspiracy.](if: $Num is 5)[Greenpeace has been declared a terrorist organization.]
The AQI (air quality index) is currently (set: $airPol to (random: 101,300))$airPol, (if: $airPol is <151)[(set: $risk to ["lightly polluted"])](if: $airPol is >151 and <200)[(set: $risk to ["moderately polluted"])](if: $airPol is >201 and <300)[(set: $risk to ["severely polluted"])]$risk.
I have no new texts.
[[refresh|check phone2]]
[[go back|28]]<center>
<img src=https://i.imgur.com/4DojFi8.gif>
[[begin|titlecard]]</center><br><br><center>[[all american teen girl detective fights crime|000]]
to play:
click the blue text to follow the story along. have a pen or sharpie ready, and follow the directions in (css: "color: red;")[red.] be prepared to draw on your body. remember that there are no wrong choices.
</center>